We all have bad days. For most of us, our first instinct is to call a friend, turn to our coworker, or lean on our spouse for a venting session. While this is a natural part of working through our emotions, it can get to a point where it’s toxic. When done regularly enough, airing out our negative feelings can become trauma dumping. As a family of facilities for mental health, Banyan wanted to share what trauma dumping is and how it can negatively affect you and others.
Trauma dumping refers to the oversharing of difficult or negative emotions and thoughts with others. While it’s not an official, clinical term used by medical professionals, people who ‘trauma dump’ often share traumatic events or stressful situations with others at inappropriate times. Trauma dumping is usually linked to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and stress at work or home.
The biggest red flag that someone is trauma dumping is if the “dumpee” (the person who is getting dumped on, essentially) has no chance to talk or express their thoughts or emotions with the other person. As a result, the person on the receiving end of this dumping may feel overwhelmed and helpless because they aren’t sure how to respond or aren’t given the opportunity to.
Some common trauma dumping examples and signs you’ve probably come across include:
Considering that it seems quite toxic, why do people trauma dump? People trauma dump because it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism or an ineffective way of seeking emotional support. Those who engage in trauma dumping are usually unable or unwilling to deal with their own issues, feelings, or even their role in the problem.
However, this isn’t to say that the individual whom trauma dumps isn’t going through something serious or truly distressing. If you know someone who’s prone to trauma dumping, they likely need some professional intervention and care to help them process what they’re going through. Banyan Treatment Centers offers adult mental health services for all kinds of disorders – including trauma disorder treatment – that can help your loved one recover.
While expressing our emotions and talking things out is a good thing, the difference between trauma dumping and venting is that venting involves validation and mutual venting by the other person. On the other hand, trauma dumping is all about the one person “dumping” everything on someone who isn’t a willing participant in the conversation or isn’t being allowed to express themselves in the same way. In other words, trauma dumping is very one-sided.
Below are some additional key differences between venting and trauma dumping:
|Sharing frustrations with someone who wants to listen||Oversharing at inappropriate times|
|Having mutual venting sessions with another person||Not allowing the other person to speak or share their hardships|
|Taking accountability for mistakes you may have associated with the problem||Not taking accountability for your part in the problem|
|Open to finding solutions to the problem||Unwilling to find or listen to solutions to the problem|
|Only talking about one topic at a time||Jumping from topic to topic too quickly|
|Putting a time limit on a venting session||Ranting about too many issues in one sitting|
|The person sharing is receptive to input, feedback, and solutions from the listener||The person sharing is resistant to input, feedback, and solutions from the listener|
Yes, trauma dumping is bad and can worsen the problem rather than present any solutions. Mutual sharing for emotional support is one of the ways people connect with each other and recover from trauma and emotional distress. However, trauma dumping isn’t a mutual interaction but rather a toxic form of communication that involves one person getting their emotional needs met at the expense of another.
Over time, this can create a strained, one-sided relationship in which the listener is expected to dish out patience and a shoulder to cry on at the drop of a hat while the speaker is always expecting their needs to be met. All are red flags of a toxic relationship.
Additionally, trauma dumping involves pressured, rapid-fire speech with a lot of emotional content, which can trigger the fight-or-flight response in the listener. When this happens too often, the listener’s stress hormones can lead to chronic stress, which can be physically and mentally draining. It’s important to note, however, that trauma dumping isn’t usually done maliciously but is rather the result of mental illness or low self-esteem.
Trauma bonding is often linked to mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and often without the person realizing it. If you notice that a loved one's trauma dumps frequently or seems to be struggling emotionally with the same problem, encourage them to seek professional support.
Banyan Mental Health facilities offer many types of mental illness treatment, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD treatment. These help individuals understand the causes of their disorders and how to best cope with symptoms so they can live happy and fulfilling lives.
For more information about our mental health treatment services, call Banyan Treatment Centers at 888-280-4763 or send us your contact information, and one of our admissions specialists will reach out to you.
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