What Not to Say to Someone with Schizophrenia

When caring for someone with paranoid schizophrenia, it’s important to avoid certain words or phrases so that you don’t agitate them, hurt their feelings, or seem insensitive.

It’s also important to remember that dealing with schizophrenia is extremely difficult, and this person may rely on you for love and support. Schizophrenia is a severe mental disorder that affects every aspect of a person’s life. From relationships to work performance, a person with this disorder may go to great lengths just to maintain their symptoms. If you have a spouse, friend, or family member with this disorder, the way you communicate with them is important. As a Banyan mental health center that treats this condition, we’re sharing examples of what not to say to someone with schizophrenia.

How to Communicate With Someone With Schizophrenia: Dos and Don’ts

Schizophrenia is a long-term mental disorder that affects a person’s ability to think, feel, and behave clearly. A person with schizophrenia may struggle to break down the relationships between thoughts, emotions, and behavior, resulting in impaired perception, inappropriate behavior or feelings, withdrawal from reality, and a sense of mental fragmentation. If you think this sounds complicated, imagine how a person with this disorder feels.

People with schizophrenia rarely have an understanding of or insight into their illness, which can be extremely stressful for the individual and their loved ones. As an outsider, to you it may seem like the person has completely lost touch with reality, but this isn’t true. As complex as this disorder is, it’s important to be mindful of your language when speaking to the individual or talking about their disorder. So what should you not say to someone with schizophrenia? Below are some examples and tips for communication you should keep in mind.

Don’t Say Things Like: “Why Are You Acting Crazy?”

Crazy, cuckoo, nuts, and basketcase are a few of the many hurtful and flat-out rude names you should avoid saying to someone with schizophrenia. Unfortunately, movies and TV shows have contributed significantly to the many misconceptions about schizophrenic behavior and symptoms. In an attempt to entertain, the media often makes people with schizophrenia seem crazy, violent, or aggressive. In reality, they’re just struggling with their mental health. Avoid using hurtful or derogatory language when talking to someone with schizophrenia to avoid hurting their feelings or making them feel ashamed about their condition.

Do Listen More Than You Speak

When helping someone with schizophrenia, never assume you know what they need. Don’t make decisions or big changes without discussing these changes with them, which can be extremely infuriating. Just because they have schizophrenia does not mean they can’t live out their life or make decisions for themselves. Often, this kind of behavior stems from codependency. As a caretaker, it can be easy to become accustomed to helping the person and having them rely on you. But this isn’t healthy, and sustaining this kind of behavior can do more harm than good. Be mindful of your intentions and work with the individual instead of trying to take over things for them.

Don’t Discuss Their Conditions With Others

While this tip may not involve communicating with the person, it’s still important. When dealing with a family member with schizophrenia, it can be tempting to spill the beans or release your concerns or frustrations with others. However, this can quickly go south. A person’s mental illness is a sensitive topic, and discussing their condition with others without their permission or knowledge can perpetuate harmful rumors and misconceptions.

Many people don’t understand schizophrenia, so when they hear of the person’s condition, they may treat them differently or say certain things that can be insensitive or hurtful. Unless they give your permission, ask you to, or if they bring up the conversation themselves, don’t discuss your loved one’s condition with other people.

Do Use a Gentle Voice

Using an aggressive tone can make the person feel as if they’re backed in a corner. Again, schizophrenia is a difficult disease to cope with. You never know how the person is truly feeling, even if you’ve asked. It’s important to remind yourself that they may do or say certain things without realizing the harm or pain they may cause. While it may be easy to become frustrated or angry with them, you should never yell, say harsh things, or speak in a strong voice to them. Instead, speak gently. Be honest, but don’t be harsh or aggressive. This person is probably relying on your support, and it’s best to express your concerns in a gentle manner.

Don’t Attempt to Diagnose Them

Unless you’re their doctor, do not attempt to diagnose your loved one. This can not only seem insensitive, but it can also be dismissive of their feelings. If your friend, spouse, or family member is potentially showing signs of a mental illness, get them help. There are many dangers of misdiagnosed mental disorders that can be avoided if you encourage the person to seek out professional medical advice.

Do Use Simple Directions and Language

A person having a schizophrenic episode may be confused or struggle to understand elaborate directions. If you’re trying to talk to them and calm them down, it’s best to offer guidance using simple language. You can say things like, “Sit and let’s talk.” Help them by letting them speak, not interrupting, and just communicating slowly and clearly.

Don’t Discuss Their Fears During an Episode

If your loved one is afraid of spiders, don’t talk about spiders while they’re having an episode. This will only make them more afraid and cause them to panic more than they already are.

Do Explain Your Actions

Again, during an episode, a person with schizophrenia may struggle to understand things like movements. They may feel extremely afraid and paranoid at that moment, so it’s important to explain your actions with words. If you’re pulling out a chair to sit down, tell them that. If you’re pulling out your phone to check something, tell them that. Remember that details matter.

Don’t Try to Convince Them That Their Delusions Aren’t Real

One of the major things you should never do to a schizophrenic is to try to convince them that their delusions aren’t real. Delusions are a common symptom of schizophrenia, and it can be tempting to try and convince the person that what they’re seeing isn’t real. However, these aren’t thoughts that you can talk someone out of, and attempting to do so may only cause further panic or frustration.

Although there are many examples of what not to say to someone with schizophrenia, everyone is different. Another great way of supporting your loved ones is to encourage them to get schizophrenia treatment.

How Can Friends and Family Focus on Feelings Rather Than Experiences When Supporting Someone With Schizophrenia?

When helping someone who has schizophrenia, it’s crucial that friends and family adjust their approach to communication, emphasizing empathy over challenging the person’s experiences. Here are some tailored strategies:

Acknowledge Their Feelings

• Express Understanding: Let your loved one know that their feelings are important. Use empathetic language, such as "It sounds like you're going through a tough time."

• Validate Their Emotions: Instead of disputing their perceptions, acknowledge the fear or distress they might be feeling. A supportive comment could be, "That seems really scary for you, would you like to discuss it with someone?"

Offering Support Without Judgment

Fostering an environment that doesn’t focus on the factual accuracy of their experiences but rather on the emotions they are experiencing can make all the difference:

• Avoid Contradicting Them Directly: Directly stating that their beliefs or visions are not real might make them feel misunderstood or isolated.

• Gently Guide Them Towards Help: Suggest talking to a professional who understands what they are experiencing, like saying, "It might help to share these fears with your counselor."

By shifting the focus from questioning the reality of their experiences to understanding and validating their feelings, friends and family can provide meaningful support that encourages individuals with schizophrenia to feel less alone and more supported.

How Can Friends and Family Plan Ahead for Difficult Times When Supporting Someone With Schizophrenia?

Supporting someone with schizophrenia can be complex, especially during a crisis or the onset of an episode. For friends and family, preparation is key to providing effective support while also managing personal well-being. Here’s how to plan ahead:

1. Create a Crisis Plan Together

During periods when your loved one is feeling stable, collaborate on a crisis management plan. This document should outline the preferred steps and measures to be taken if they begin to experience severe symptoms. This planning not only empodes your loved one by involving them in their own care process but also provides a clear guideline for you when a crisis strikes.

2. Learn to Recognize Symptoms

Understanding and recognizing the early signs of an episode can significantly improve how you handle potential crises. Discuss with your loved one what signs you should watch for. Knowing these can help in taking swift actions which might prevent the situation from worsening.

3. Identify Triggers

Every individual with schizophrenia may have different triggers that could lead to episodes. It's crucial to know what specific stimuli or situations might exacerbate your loved one’s condition. Work together to list these triggers and develop strategies to manage or avoid them.

4. Set Personal Boundaries

It’s important that in your desire to help, you don’t overextend yourself. Be open with your loved one about what you can and cannot handle. This honesty helps prevent feelings of burnout and ensures that the support you provide is sustainable.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Lastly, while it’s essential to be there for your loved one, self-care is equally crucial. Make sure you’re taking time for yourself and maintaining your own mental and physical health. This balance is vital for being a consistent, reliable support to someone with schizophrenia.

By taking these proactive steps, you can significantly improve how you support your loved parent or friend during their challenging times, while also looking after your own health and wellbeing.

How Can Friends and Family Look After Themselves When Supporting Someone With Schizophrenia?

Supporting a loved one with schizophrenia can be emotionally taxing. It's crucial for friends and family to maintain their own mental and physical health. Here are actionable strategies to consider:

1. Seek Professional Guidance: Engaging in therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to express and manage your emotions. A mental health professional can offer strategies tailored to your situation, helping you to cope more effectively.

2. Connect with Support Groups: Participating in support groups can be immensely beneficial. These groups allow you to meet others facing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and tips can alleviate feelings of isolation and stress.

3. Self-Care is Essential: Invest time in activities that rejuvenate your spirit and body. Whether it’s reading, yoga, or a hobby you love, maintaining your personal well-being is vital.

4. Educate Yourself: Understanding schizophrenia can help you better support your loved ones while keeping things in perspective. Knowledge about the condition can reduce frustrations and foster more compassionate caregiving.

It’s important to remember that taking care of yourself isn’t an indulgence but a necessity. By ensuring your own health and well-being, you’re better equipped to assist your loved one.

If you or someone you know is battling a mental illness or co-occurring disorder, we can help. Call Banyan now at 888-280-4763 for more information about our inpatient mental health rehab in Boca.

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